I wrote (borrowed? appropriated?) this in 1999, using headlines taken from the 28th May 1999 papers;  I’m going to write a followup this May, as an interesting exercise in observing what has changed in 17 years, and what remains the same in absorbing us, news-wise.

Tragedy of babies born into
A BUS SHELTER CALLED HOME

Ferguson’s £12million spending limit
Upsets the Deaf

War crimes move
The start of the weekend

SORRY SOPHIE
We never meant to cause you distress

Topless photo was a mistake –
Two heads four legs and sex appeal!!!

Ban on Viagra to cost millions
BARGAIN BEDS BONANZA

WE ADMIT IT!
Disability benefits threatened

75% off
50% off
25% off
20% off

MORE SAVINGS. MORE SAVINGS. MORE SAVINGS

From Kosovo to Kiss-o-vo
KIDS AGED TWO ARE MASSACRED

Myra threatens sit in at change of prison
My angel murdered